God, are You even real?

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Jesus, I am thankful for the times in my life when I say, “God, are You even real?”

These seasons, these roads, these pits produce the evidence that He is.

Over the course of my short 31 years of life, I have had many moments of doubt.  I have questioned whether or not our God truly does love.  Whether He truly does forgive.  Whether He truly does know all things and has good things planned for me.  I have often wondered, “are You even real?  Because I thought I knew what you wanted from me and for me….”

Did you know that this is normal?  Did you know that it is okay?  Did you know that our God is big enough to handle our times and seasons of doubt?  Did you know more people do this than are willing to admit?

There is freedom in realness.  Freedom in our relationship with The Saviour and realness in our relationships with others.  Many times we feel like we know, understand, catch a glimpse of The Lord’s perfect will in a situation and the circumstances do not line up.  Does that mean The Lord lost?  No.  It means that The Lord “causes ALL things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28.  And this is written by God, through a man who faced many forms of persecutions and eventually death for the Gospel that he believed and preached.

I have faced loss and difficulties:

  • death of all my grandparents,
  • death of my father-in-law,
  • watching loved ones fight through cancer
  • infertility for five years wondering what I had done that God did not want to bless me,
  • my blessed baby girl that the Lord breathed life into my womb, born with a cleft lip and cleft palate,
  • feeling overlooked and unappreciated,
  • friendships ending and not understanding why,
  • persecution from others because of beliefs,
  • cars breaking,
  • home air conditioning going out,
  • financial struggles- some because of my choices, others because of just life,
  • feeling like my husband did not understand me
  • etc, etc, etc, etc…. you get the point….

None of these are special just to me and my circumstances.  These are just life.  Life is difficult.  It is all how we handle the difficulties that defines us.  Do we pretend that everything is okay or do we face it?  And be transparent through the struggles?

In this world, we know that we will “encounter various trials”, but we also know that we should “consider it pure joy… knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance and when endurance has its perfect result, we will be complete and perfect, lacking in nothing.” (James 1).  Lacking in nothing.  Our King Jesus wants me to be lacking in nothing.  Today, I don’t necessarily want to be lacking in nothing.  But tomorrow, when endurance has had the chance to perfect itself, I will appreciate and be thankful for the testing.

Jesus, I am thankful for the times in my life when I say, “God, are You even real?”

Slavery is still going strong today…

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Slavery is still going strong today.  Slavery. Is it about the color of someone’s skin?  Slavery.  Is it about what country you are from or how much money you make?  What about your age? Slavery knows no boundaries.  Slavery goes beyond borders, skin color, age and further than bank accounts and financial statements.  Slavery attacks all walks of life because slavery devours the slave and the master.  A slave is defined as a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them.

There are more slaves today than in any other point in the history of all mankind.  And these slaves are black and white.  Yellow and red.  These slaves are from Asia, Africa, America, Europe, The Islands and Knoxville, Tennessee.  These slaves are poor and rich.

More than 2 million children are exploited each year in the sex trade.  Those children are white, black, yellow, red… one of us.

There are more than 27 million slaves globally.  These can be in the sex industry working as prostitutes or on farms working in the fields.  Those people are yellow, black, red, white… one of us.

Of 95 counties in the state of Tennessee, Knox County ranks in the top 4 in trafficked areas in the state.  Knox County is where we live.  Slavery exists right here with us.

Every 30 seconds another person is trafficked.  Every 30 seconds.  In the time that it will take you to read this article another 8 people have been enslaved.

My generation has become more concerned with the act of slavery that took place before our grandparents were born, instead of fighting the slavery that is going on right now, under our noses, in the parts of town we “avoid” around the people we “avoid”.  Each child trafficked is someone’s child.  Every person trafficked is someone’s someone.

Today, we watch news updates of black verses white and white verses black and it is all referencing slavery.  Today, we are citizens in a nation with a black President.  If a black man can hold the highest office in the nation voted in by the people, the slavery that once held our country in bondage, no longer does.  At least not in the majority.  Is it possible that by our focus being so strongly on the immediate hatred or slander against one another, we miss the real slavery still in existence?  Is that the plan?  While I raise many questions in this brief article.  I only ask that you search yourself and the real data of who the slaves in 2016 really are and how do we help them?

A21 is an international organization that works to rescue those in bondage today and help restore them through the healing power of Jesus Christ.  A21 EXISTS TO ABOLISH INJUSTICE IN THE 21ST CENTURY.  A21 is a non-profit organization who believes that we can end human trafficking together. For the past three years, A21 has hosted the #walkforfreedom walk in numerous cities across the globe.  The walk exists to reflect A21’s heart for freedom and justice, and it is ultimately designed to turn awareness into action.  This year, Knoxville has been chosen as one of their host cities.  Please feel free to go to A21.org for more information about A21 and the walk itself.   The event is Saturday, October 15, 2016 at 8:30am beginning at the Knoxville Civic Coliseum.

Do we as a county, as a state, as a city want to continue fighting against the slavery that was abolished many years ago or do we want to face and fight for the ones that are currently in chains?  The decision is ours.  What shall you choose?

For mora21-shirte information, please go to a21.org/Knoxville or follow us on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

Service or Love?

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For too long in my life, I’ve lived with this mentality that it is my duty to serve. Duty? Does that sound like a love relationship? God doesn’t need me.

He has created you for a purpose. Have you sat long enough with Him and His book to know what that purpose is? Or do we spend more time being “busy” serving without relationship? Busy as stated by a friend, is Being Under Satan’s Yoke.  Now is the time to sit.  Now is the time to listen. Now is the time to hear.

No longer should we walk and follow men and their activities.  Today, we follow God. Today, we search for what He has in store for us! Today, sit and seek and let Him tell us what the next step is and follow.

Our God wants to lead us. Our God wants to speak to us. Our God desires a relationship with us above all else. Our God wants YOU! Not your service. Not your sacrifice. Not your ability to follow. He wants YOU!

Naked Toes

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Polish on toes. What is that about? Who decided it would be a good idea and that you cannot dare wear sandals without them being polished? Who made this declaration? Who put these chains on me?!? 

Polished toenails are beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But when did they turn from being a fun thing to do, to a down right chore that keeps me from showing them bare? 

As of late, I have purposely kept my toes unpolished. Wanna know why? A few reasons: 1. I couldn’t stand the thought of doing it. Why does it bother me so much? Not having my toenails polished? What is at the root of this? 2. If I struggled with having my toes bare, who else might? Is there something deeper with this than just the fact that my toes aren’t polished? 3.The idea that this could be really interesting to see what people have to say about it, will they notice? Duh, they’ll notice, but will they actual say anything… Or just think weird things about me? LOL! 4. I’m just weird and think about polishing my toenails way too much. So much, I am now writing about it. 

So, I am still left with the same thought… Why does this matter? What does polished toenails represent? They say- you’ve made time to take care of your toes; you make good money so you can even pay someone to take care of your toes; you’re fashionable; you like to have everything put together at all times; everything is always good when the toes are polished; a woman who has all of the plates in the air spinning in perfect harmony…. These may not be what they say to you, but sometimes these can/are true. Well, at least to me. 

Why is it that I feel like I need to make an excuse to all mankind about why my toes aren’t polished? Why does anyone care? Why do I care? Maybe because I feel like I am showing weakness in myself if my toes aren’t polished…. Maybe it means I am not super woman and that maybe, just maybe, I might not have it altogether. Maybe it means that I really am too busy for taking care of myself and that some of these things in life that demand so much out of me really do need to stop. Maybe it signifies that I AM NOT PERFECT! 

Maybe, naked toes are just the ticket to remind me and everyone around me that God never called us to be perfect…. He called us to be Holy. Maybe, I will keep naked toes until they can find their proper place in my life and in the scheme of eternity. 

Everything we do, whether in word or deed, is to give glory to the One who made us. May my toes bring You the glory You deserve. Thank You for teaching through my naked toes. 
PS. My toes are polished in this pic. 😑 The struggle is real. 

Guest Post: Amanda Day shares her personal story on fitness. 

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Guest Post: Amanda Day shares her personal story on fitness

Why do I work out? 

My whole life into my early twenties, I was bullied for being over weight. I was bullied to the point of wanting to drop out of school, never return, go home, and curl up in a ball away from the world. I had to learn health and nutrition on my own as a young adult. At the age of twenty-two, I began to run and my desires of food began to change. Long story short, this became a huge part of my life, and I lost 63 pounds in a just over a year. So needless to say, my life changed tremendously.  Sadly, more people became my friend.

The scars of my bullies will always be there, but today, I know and believe with all of my heart and soul where my identity is. I am a daughter of the King, child of God, chosen one, beautiful in His sight, fearfully and wonderfully made. I am God’s Temple where His Spirit dwells! 

I was introduced to Zumba, four years ago and at first, I’ll be honest, I thought,”huh,no way, I can’t move like that!”  Well, I kept going simply because I LOVE music and I LOVE to dance! One class led to another and I became quickly addicted to it, in a good way! Zumba changed my life in many ways. From physical form to inner confidence.

Zumba was the only workout I found that I never got tired of.

Then a dear friend came to me about a year ago and suggested I become an instructor for Refit. Refit is similar to Zumba, but I said right away that there was no way I could ever get up in front of everyone and teach. Obviously, I still struggled with thinking I couldn’t achieve anything. I became nauseous just thinking about it! Then she asked me again, several several months later, and I began to pray about it, asking God to show me the way. HE knew fitness was a passion for me and HE also gave me the spiritual gift of exhortation. So I prayed, “Lord, if this is what I am supposed to do for You, please give me the courage and confidence to do it.” Without a doubt, the Lord orchestrated this for my life. So stepping out in faith, believing He would take away my fears and insecurities of teaching in front of a crowd, I registered for training and off I went. I became certified April 20th, 2016, as a Refit Instructor.  Even as my training began, the enemy came and said, “you know that you can’t do this, your too insecure, you don’t have enough talent…..” I became very anxious and almost felt that I needed to walk out and come home. But I serve a mighty God that told me to stay right where I was and with Him, I can do all things who gives me strength. And that is exactly what He did!  I would not be standing in front of my class teaching Refit if it wasn’t for the Lord Jesus Christ working completely through me and my dear friend’s encouragement and belief in me. You see I’m not capable of it at all.   It is only Jesus working through me to give me that confidence that I need to teach other women to be the same way: to overcome their fears, their insecurities, the negative feelings they have about themselves, that they aren’t good enough, pretty enough, fit enough or look a certain way or can’t move like the instructor can, etc….

It is my great passion to help them to believe in themelves, to love themselves and see themselves through HIS eyes and not their own. As long as we view ourselves through our eyes we will never measure up. I never ever thought I would do what I do now but isn’t that how our amazing the Father works?! He works in us in ways we never thought possible! I have been set free from the bondage of insecurity and self doubt! Do I struggle from time to time? Sure I do. It’s our human nature and the enemy’s desperation trying to creep in. But as long as I have my armor on daily and seek HIS face with all I have, I am able to defeat the enemy. 
So…I workout to have a strong temple for Jesus Christ, to do His work as He calls me to do it. To honor my body as He desires us to do (our bodies are the dwelling place for the Holy Spirit, you know), to encourage other women, make new relationships to share God’s love with them, because I love to dance, I love music, it is my 100% stress release therapy, and to be healthy for myself and my family! 

Not one day passes I don’t thank my heavenly Father for what He is doing in my life through the fitness world. It has become my ministry for Him….who knew?….HE knew! 

I’m humbled and thankful that He believed in me and had this plan for me.

Career Mom’s Guilt…. How to deal? 

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So the battle is real. What happens to the moms that the Lord clearly ordains to have a career? How does a woman deal with that? What does His Word say about it? What do His people say about it? Why is there such guilt and frustration? What is the actual truth about this? 

I am finding that a few years back my world shifted. I was always focused on education and career, but at no point did I ever slow down long enough to ask the Lord about what I do with all of this when babies come! (Plus I had a few extra years to think about it because baby did not come very easily, well at least not in my timeframe). Then she did come. Precious baby girl, Miss Georgia Ruth. I was now called mommy. This was a new title. One I was unfamiliar with. One that had more honor than all others… Except one, wife. 
What do I do with this? How do I manage my time? My thoughts? My heart? My focus? 
I was somewhat angry when I had to go back to work and take her to her new daytime sitters- her Gigi and her Mamaw and Papaw. I know, I’m a brat, how do you complain when you are blessed to have grandparents watch your precious girl??? Eh, anyone can complain about anything at anytime. It comes with our bag of bones… Somewhat natural. 
Anyway, the struggle was real. Since I was young, I would daily ask the Father to give wisdom. I knew early, only by the grace of God, that I clearly did not know or understand A LOT and that I was going to need His wisdom in all things. I wondered why He didn’t tell me “hey dear, you might want to save your money so you can take a few years off when you have children…..” Or I wondered why didn’t some honest, amazing women tell me that. I regretted not planning well. 
And then I went into a season where I was seeking wholeheartedly what the Lord wanted me to do for a career. My prayer was that He would tell me to quit my job and completely live by faith on where each meal was coming from. But He didn’t. My prayer was that He would tell me and Clif to pack up and move to some big adventure on mission with Him- Southeast Asia, NYC, Washington DC, anywhere really! But He didn’t. My prayer was that He would quadruple Clif’s salary and then I would just quit and do mommy stuff all day. But He didn’t.  
He chose to increase my salary and give me a new mission in my career. He chose to give me great opportunity for advancement and great traveling opportunities. He chose to do the one thing I didn’t pray or ask for, but He made it clear where He wanted me to go, what He wanted me to do and where He wanted me to do it. 
So what now? What happens to the dreams of having lunch on a Tuesday with baby girl? What happens to the ideas and desires of having a garden and growing our food and making beautiful flower beds? What happens to being around every time she is sick, every time she does something funny and every time you think she may become a homeschooled child? 
And today was no different. Asking the same ole questions, but today He answered. Today, He spoke words that penetrated to my heart. Stop complaining and be thankful. Stop comparing and be thankful. Stop being so self-centered and BE THANKFUL. Joy cannot be where complaining, comparing and self-centeredness are. Be joyful. Stop looking twenty years ahead and live today. Be in today. Be thankful for today. 
Stop viewing my circumstances as bad and start being thankful for each and every one. 
Enjoy today. Have gratitude today. 
Father, forgive me for my lack of thankfulness for my amazing husband, amazing daughter AND amazing career. Father, did you not make both the career mom and the stay at home mom? Did you not speak to both and give each of them their mission? Will you not supply all of our needs? Do you not take care of the birds, so you will also take care of me? Father, have you not told me that I will face trials of many kinds, but through them all, have joy!?! Lord Jesus, forgive me for all of my failures to say thank you. Father, help me to see every day as a new day and a new set of joy to be walked in. I pray that I never participate in the things You don’t want me to. I pray each day is lived as YOU perfectly planned it to be. Thank you for Your grace. 

The light in the storm

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As I bounce around in this small piece of metal in the air with Your wind and Your rain, I am reminded of just how small I really am. There are many days that I feel strong, big, in control…. But today, I am just a blip on the radar of Your force and strength. You are bigger. You are much stronger. My body can only bend to where Your creation tells it to go. The wings of the plane bounce. Jolt. Every burst of wind forces this “heavy piece of machinery” into it’s mercy. Your Mercy. The rain falls and the wing gets wet. The winds blow and the wing moves. The light on the end of the wing never stops blinking. It never stops shining and it never stops reminding the creation around it that the plane is coming.  
That it is coming. 
And just like that, the clouds break, the rain stops and the city comes into view. Is the airplane wing different through the storm…. 

Yes, but the light remains. 

Review: Brush of Wings by Karen Kingsbury

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This series has radically changed my life.

The Lord has inspired this series to show us what is truly happening in the spiritual realm all around us. This book is the third in Karen Kingsbury’s Angels Walking series. 

If you are a believer and follower of Jesus Christ this is a MUST READ! In my life, I have seen dramas and books that depict the spiritual real from the demonic perspective, but Karen clearly gives all of the power to our God and His Angel Armies.  We don’t recognize that our God and His Angels (in the Name of Jesus) are all around us on mission for Him. We recognize the enemy only a third of the time that he is actually working. Karen has created a storyline that helps Christians identify when the enemy is   truly at work…. And it may just be more than we think! 

If you like to read, get this series. If you’ve never read, get this series. If you are curious about Angels and Demons, get this series. 

Please note, this book is not the Word of God and I do not equate it to the Word of God.  I do believe this is the greatest series that Karen Kingsbury has ever written and will have the greatest impact on the Kingdom of God.  

 

Is The Church the Body of Christ or just a country club?

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The Church is to be the living and breathing Body of Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ intentionally went to the least of these.  His best and closest friends (the disciples He chose) were not among the upper echelon of people.  The men and women that His Holy Book (the Bible) documents that He spent time with were the prostitutes and tax collectors (again, not the well liked of society).

Ephesians 5:1 tells us to “be imitators of God, as beloved children: and walk in love just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, as an offering and a sacrifice to God, as a fragrant aroma.”

“Imitators of God”…. when I walk around and do life, my little girl, Georgia, is constantly watching me.  She says, “hello, it’s nice to meet you!” and shakes hands.  She wants to drink coffee, sing and dance throughout the house.  She wants to read a book and play on her phone.  All because she wants to me an imitator of me.  She isn’t me.  But she wants to be like me.  Just like I am not God or Jesus, but I want to be like them.  So I must follow their example and imitate them.  Paul even throws in there, “as beloved children…”  The Lord and Paul knew that we would need an example.  And since everything on earth is just “a shadow”, of course our children should teach us this beautiful lesson of being an imitator of Christ.

All too often we find ourselves becoming imitators of spiritual leaders- pastors, teachers, writers, speakers…. when our good book (the Bible) tells us to be imitators of Christ.  In order to imitate Him, we must first know Him.

Ephesians 4: 4 “There is one body, and one Spirit, just as also you were called to one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all”.  We are one body.  We are one body in Christ.

We, as The Church of Jesus, The Body of Jesus, must be concerned about being where the “least of these” are and welcoming them into The Embassy (since we are ambassadors) for safe keeping from the enemy.  If not, we are just a country club concerned about our own desires and well-beings…. but we must stop using Jesus Christ’s Name as a banner.

 

the cross

 

Review: 7 by Jen Hatmaker

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Review: 7 by Jen Hatmaker

Okay, there is conviction… and then there is CONVICTION.  This book has challenged me to study God’s Word to see what it means to truly be a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I have been a believer and follower of Jesus since I was 12 years old.  In many ways, I have been blessed with Godly wisdom to avoid some of the major pitfalls of this life.  However, in many ways the plumb line that I had used against myself was not the Living Word of God, and definitely not the Saviour of the Universe.

Now that I have seen, I am responsible.

I have always struggled with how the Living Word was supposed to scrub up against the life of the a 21st Century American Christian.  This book has caused me to focus on 7 major areas of my life and hold them up against the Word of God.  Those areas are: Clothes, Spending, Waste, Food, Possessions, Media & Stress.  At first glace, you might think, “I do okay in those areas..”.  If you feel like you are good and have accomplished all that Jesus has for you, read this book.  If you feel like you are obedient in most areas of your life, read this book.  If you feel like you have no real understanding of what God says about these areas, read this book (and then become a Berean and study it out).

Jen doesn’t seek to be the end all, be all about these issues mentioned.  My understanding is that she just wants the American Church of Jesus to study out how our lives actually line up with the Word of God.  Our view of Christianity is skewed by an American worldview, and not a Jesus worldview.

If you dare to go and pick this book up, be prepared to be challenged.  Be warned, this book is not for the weary.  Actually, the weary might just be the very one intended to read it!

Happy to you in finding your alter to fall upon with all of your idols!  Get ready!  Don’t say I didn’t warn you… (btw we all have idols).  Remember we have a loving Saviour who is willing to show grace to all, may repentance be near.

seven