This month I have been exposed to four different people whose journeys ended before they should have. These people were drowning in their own darkness. These people either had addictions or suffered from a mental anguish of health that took them down a road they never intended. These four precious souls were all struggling. Their struggles were known in many cases, but in others they were not.

This month, I am 8 months into my 39th year of life. (Meaning, I turn 40 in four months! PARTY!) However, I would be remiss to not pause and take account for the miracle it is that I have even arrived here. Mental health is real. What we don’t understand or want to speak to is that all mental, spiritual, physical and emotional health are interwoven into the human body. We are either healthy in all or unhealthy in all – they do not work separately. As I have attended two funerals this month for lives gone way too short, I am faced with my own reality. Life is short. Life is hard. Life can be torment. But God is good.

In my own journey there have been seasons when it was all too overwhelming and I didn’t see how I could possibly make it through. There have been many nights of weeping in my own prayer closet begging God to make it all go away or to take me home. There have been moments when in my own darkness I have begged for God to make it all end. And God met me there.

My own curse is the struggle to live in the right now and not in the yesterday or tomorrow. I am sure that I am not alone. My own curse is to make sure everyone is taken care of and that all is as it should be. My own curse is to pour out mental anguish to cover all the bases and forget nothing. My own curse is to create the best fun, most efficient and productive space, while also leaving a lasting impression legacy. My own curse is to pretend to be God to the point of exhaustion and then remember that God is actually God and I am called to much less. My own curse is overanalyzing every human interaction to the point of paralysis instead of releasing it all and walking in true freedom. My own curse is to wonder if I will ever be enough for those in my life. My own curse is to constantly allow the enemy to whisper lies to my own soul and then have them on a highlight reel in my own personal television behind the eyes. My own curse is creating an image of myself that no one in the real world has ever thought or saw. My own curse is heavy. My own curse is lonely. My own curse is bondage.

Jesus has already set me free.

But in the midst of darkness that truth can feel so far away. Seek Jesus.

Our world needs Christians to be Christ-like. Jesus was present with the people and vulnerable with others. Jesus comforted and loved powerfully. Jesus was full of the Spirit and led of the Spirit. Jesus reached out and walked with.

For those struggling in mental battles, you are not alone. Most people are. Seek Jesus. Jesus is always with you and your journey is not over – do NOT let the lies of the enemy tell you that your burden is too heavy for you to keep carrying. Jesus will carry your burden. Cast your cares upon the Lord, for HE cares for you. If you are choosing to self medicate, through drugs/alcohol/busyness/food – stop. Seek Jesus. Jesus will carry your burden. Cast your cares upon the Lord, for HE cares for you.

Your pains are never without purpose.

On more than one occasion, the enemy’s voice has held a microphone in my mind. Don’t let him hold one in yours.

Seek Jesus. Jesus will carry your burden. Cast your cares upon the Lord, for HE cares for you.

If you are not in one of these dark spots, be thankful, and listen to the Spirit as He leads you to people. He is calling you to call people because they are in a darkness that no one knows or understands.

Each of us must seek Jesus. Obey His Spirit.

If you do not know Jesus personally, relationally, today you can – seek Him and you will find Him when you seek Him with your whole heart.

Jesus will carry your burden. Cast your cares upon the Lord, for HE cares for you.