what do i want to remember and take with me from my twenties AND what do i want to see happen in my thirties?

these are the true questions i ask.

my twenties: my junior year at UT-Knoxville studying in public relations.  college graduation.  my engagement and later marriage to my best friend.  my first full time job.  the first time i ever turned in a two week notice.  my first adventure to nyc.  the death of an amazing father-in-love.  the deaths of all of my remaining grandparents.  the many years of infertility and deep sadness, mourning even.  asking GOD why i wasn’t worthy of HIM creating life within me.  a deeper connection to a human than i ever anticipated to have, my husband.  realizing that HIS timing is perfect, because that is all HE can be.  moving into an industry working with the greatest generation.  becoming a publisher.  becoming thankful that i can remember my name.  ten years of youth ministry coming to a close.  my first mission to southeast asia.  my second mission to southeast asia.  my life being utterly interrupted by my GOD because of southeast asia.  realizing that my GOD really is holy.  my first time visiting the sweet women in the red light districts.  when GOD taught me how to pray for my sisters wearing chains, physical & spiritual.  going to my first passion conference in atl.  my first time stepping on the same land where my savior stood, Israel.  understanding that i do not know my GOD as much as i though i did.  becoming free in worship, anytime & anywhere.  learning what cleft lips and cleft palates are.  asking GOD why HE chose not to completely heal my baby girl’s cleft lip and cleft palate.  experiencing natural childbirth for 27 hours.  having those 27 hours end with a c-section.  loving every minute of those 27 hours of labor.  experiencing the Hand of the FATHER through my humble husband leading me and guiding me.  asking GOD why i had to have a c-section.  asking GOD why i couldn’t breastfeed my baby girl.  learning that asking GOD why is okay and didn’t condemn me to hell.  resting in the promise that HIS ways are not our ways and HIS thoughts are not our thoughts.  seeing the love of JESUS in my sweet Georgia girls smile.  seeing the room light up when she arrives.  watching my husband become the father HE was always designed to be.  learning one of the greatest lessons of my life, only the LORD is to be worshiped.  HE does not share HIS glory with anything or anyone.  asking GOD why i couldn’t have learned that lesson another way.  walking hand in hand in the valley of the shadow of death.  fighting for restoration.  deciphering who GOD is and who HE made me to be.  realizing that HE knows exactly what i need, even when i don’t.  watching HIM remind me, repeatedly, that my battle is not against flesh and blood.  the excitement of learning how to walk in HIS freedom, walk in HIS liberty.  the ever-present knowledge that this is not my home.  the joy in earning money so that i can give it away.  the peace in walking as JESUS walked, with the least of these.  the honor of discipleship.  the fulfillment in fighting for my flock in prayer.  the drive to surrender every ounce of who i am for HIS purpose and plan.  the passion to be a vessel for the sole purpose of chain removal.  

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  Romans 8:18

coming next, the thirties….