And here it is.  Stronger than ever.  The darkness so strong all around, it is difficult to think clearly, difficult to find thanks, difficult to see life as it truly is and not from this skewed angle of partial truth.  The world looks bleak.  Life seems meaningless.  Trivial.  Desperate.

Thoughts begin wondering down paths that never even made sense before.  People all around confirm the lies that the enemy is so craftily speaking to your mind.  Destruction is imminent if the path is not changed.  Such peace was once had.  Now utter chaos.  No control.

How did this happen?  Why are the fights so often?  The anger so quick?  The jealousy and insecurity so strong?  The fear so massive?  And the anxiety…. why?  How did this happen?  The deep, desperate longing for someone to understand your pain, your struggle, your desire to be loved.

The choices are real.  The struggle is real.  The battle is real.  Your countenance has fallen, why?  Grave sin?  No.

Moses’ time with God produced a face of glow.  But what is the alternative?  The demon possessed man lived among the dead, seeking destruction at every turn.  Is that the alternative?  Death.

How long does it take for one to wander away from the faith that has so defined them?  A day?  A week?  A month?  A year?  How quick is the destruction?  As always, more questions than answers.  But one answer shouts out in the midst of the darkness.

“I AM HERE!  Waiting.  Right where you left me.”

The cry from the One you’ve neglected.  The cry from the Holy Father desiring for your fierce return.  And what was only a few short days, it feels like an eternity.  And you think, how did this happen?  The wandering from The Voice.  The wandering from The Word.  The wandering.  He never leaves and never stops pursuing his children.  And as children we look, knowing the safety and the beautiful protection, and yet we wander.  Not intentionally, but slowly.  And then wake up in the darkness trying to get back to the closeness felt within the Father’s arms.  And then you see, you see how it is so easy to drift.  How easy it is to wander and choose the utter harm to your soul.  To your life.

And then comes the last question.  How do we keep from this?  The only answer is this: the fear of what we will be without Christ and without His Book as the foundation.  That fear strengthens us to open The Book when we don’t feel like it.  That fear drives us when we desire sleep over intimacy.  That fear pushes us into dates with our Heavenly Father.  That is the power of healthy fear of knowing what we are without His Presence and without His Word.