I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

Life is hard. Life is full of unexpected twist and turns. I find it is much easier to count the ways things don’t go as planned, than the ways of a Faithful God. I find that list forms naturally without even thinking about it. The pains and shortcomings or the “could’ve beens” can easily overtake us and create the space of sadness that imprisons you. We look at one another with the eye of “their life must be perfect” when in reality none are. I heard it once said that we must, “kill the idea of what life is ‘supposed’ to be.”

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

The “supposed to be”. Who even created that image and where did it come from? As we walk and grow, we must stop and take inventory that while we have all experienced struggle and pain, in those moments His mercies never failed us and we were held in His hands. My journey has created in me the burden of constantly watching for what is going to hit me and my family next. And through these calculations, I try to determine the level of impact and how to prolong or soften it as much as possible. And remind myself that all my life He has been faithful.

Now, I am not sure how healthy that is – but I have definitely done it my entire life. This past week when my dad was back in the hospital again with more of the distress to the body found from diabetes – I was reminded of the goodness of God. In pain, we are forced to choose – depression and sadness or thankfulness and growth. Each day, my joy must be found and lingered in. Lingering – that is a very unique word that can be so very difficult to achieve in this world. Lingering means lasting for a long time or slow to end. I remember the last time I saw my sister alive was our last choir practice together – and we lingered in the parking lot chatting and goofing off. I have never been more thankful for that lingering moment. All of our days are numbered, we must learn to calculate our moments. Where and how can we change our lives by lingering a moment longer with a soul nearby?

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God

It’s amazing what the fires of life can look like. As the world continues to turn upside down, the weather events of extreme nature continue to increase, the loved ones around us pass away and illnesses overtake us – we must cling to His Voice. The day is coming where all will be made right. The day is coming when we will be able to look to the sky and our redemption will be here. The day is coming, as stated all throughout scripture, that we will feel no more pain nor struggle. And when the night gets dark, we must be reminded to turn to the One that is close like no other. He is our Father and our Friend. He is the One that knows our pains and struggles even when we cannot put words to them. He is the One that can carry us through any and all endeavors and paths in the journey we choose to fall down in. He is the Perfect One with the Perfect strength.

Through this journey, I have been reminded of a CS Lewis quote, “I want God, not my idea of God.” I want my idea of God crucified and only the One True God to survive.

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me
With my life laid down
I’m surrendered now
I give You everything
‘Cause Your goodness is running after
It’s running after me

When words won’t come and smiles are forced, I will sing of the goodness of God. When the days are long and the burdens are heavy, I will sing of the goodness of God. When the struggles and challenges keep coming, I will sing of the goodness of God. When the Bible won’t open and the enemy’s lies are strong, I will sing of the goodness of God. When I choose wrong, when right was there all along, I will sing of the goodness of God. Every moment is a choice, and I pray that I will continue to sing of the goodness of God.

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I’m gonna sing of the goodness of God

Source: Musixmatch; Songwriters: Jason Ingram / Brian Johnson / Ed Cash / Ben Fielding / Jenn Johnson; Goodness of God lyrics © Capitol Cmg Paragon, Bethel Music Publishing, Shout! Music Publishing Australia