It all started with a broken mirror, my leg through the back deck and the death of Maggie Smith.

I am 39 years old and one month. I have only 11 more months left of my thirties. I LOVE slowing down long enough to attempt to take stock of my status and situation. I am hoping to better sit in the days of my 39th year, more than ever before. These last days of my thirties come with a deep longing to finalize a season of my life and embrace the next by building a new foundation of joy and surrender. Tonight, I had the glorious privilege to celebrate two people who have poured into me in my most formative years and their residual effect has an ongoing and ever-present indelible mark on mine and my husband’s lives. As I looked at the small sampling of lives they had touched, which I hope to speak on in a very near future day, I was forced to encounter the things that really matter in this life.

Relationships and true rest matters.

My childhood was FUN. Full of mission, dreams, purpose and constant laughter. My college years was also incredibly fun full of leading young ladies closer to Jesus and attending the greatest university ever, UT Knoxville. My young adult years were full of adventure with a mix of a bit of sorrow along the way. As I am knocking on the “over the hill” age, I must review and determine what do the next days look like.

My whole life I have ran hard – hard towards success and busyness. I am one that has always struggled with stillness and slowness. I am one that finds it quite challenging to just “be”. As Dr. Dalton-Smith states in Sacred Rest, “I am prone to overdo things. I overplan every family vacation. I do everything to the utmost. I take to the extreme those situations that are content being small. Small intimidates me.” And I could not possibly agree with this more! I have trained myself for the last nine years to squeeze in as much as possible into the 24 hours given every single day. I ran so intensely, that this summer I realized I was one year older than I had actually thought. In one summer, I went from being 37 years old to having a few months left of being 38. That’s a problem. And now that I am thoroughly 39 years old, it is time that I unlearn the skill of maximizing every single day and find a path that leads to success in stillness and rest. When you are constantly running, relationships suffer, no matter how hard you try to protect them.

“Life is hard to appreciate without the pressing,” says Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith in Sacred Rest.

I dare say my last 9 years have been full of constant pressing. I won’t take the time to go into those details – read previous blogs for details – I tend to cope with humanity and life via writing. It is my way. And if someone can benefit, I am truly blessed. I have been given more than one lady deserves to be blessed with. I have an outstanding family, true and genuine faith, successful career, strong tribe, adventurous home and abundant life. I have been given opportunities that many dream of. I have seen many sites and embraced many unlike myself. I have more appreciation today than ever before in my short 39 years of life.

Some of my most recent pressing cases lie in the morning of my 39th birthday. I awake after three hours of sleep due to yet another delayed flight home to find my mirror in my bathroom leaning away from the wall and headed for actual doom. By the grace of God, it snugly propped itself against an item my husband had left plugged up. And now, I am faced with the fact that a controlled break is always better than an uncontrolled one – so I had to move the massive mirror in order to protect myself from the hundreds of shards of glass that would definitely await me if I delayed the movement. So, I did it – I broke a large mirror on my birthday. Which in superstition land, brings many years bad luck. Now, to speak of the fact that I later stepped through a wooden piece on my deck due to the heavy rains and great need for replacement wood and that I am still nursing the bruise from that endeavor, doesn’t reflect the broken mirror. OR that later that day one of the greatest actresses Maggie Smith passed away, I am sure that wasn’t a reflection of the mirror. OR any of the other really dreadful moments…. because broken mirrors mean nothing, right? 🙂 Well, in this case, it meant before thirty days was up, my sweet mother-in-law had completely redesigned and redecorated the bathroom and bedroom master suite.

I digress. Now onto more important things – I just finished a book that I would like to take a moment to HIGHLY recommend, Sacred Rest by Dr. Dalton-Smith. This book provided many of the answers I needed and direction my soul desired at this season of my life. She speaks of the importance of physical rest, sensory rest, mental rest, emotional rest, spiritual rest, social rest, and creative rest. In the beginning you get the privilege of taking a quiz – in which I failed in every category but one when I took it this summer.

I found a new life motto:

“I never again want to bring the toxins of work life into the sanctuary of my home. I’ve made this a key part of my rest strategy. My home and my life are far from perfect, but they are worth protecting from unrest.” says Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith in Sacred Rest.

“Victory is Coming” is a statement that has been molded into the fabric of my heart and mind over these last few years. Victory doesn’t always look like what we imagine or what we write on a sheet of paper. Victory may not look like victory to all who are watching. Victory is defined as an act of defeating an opponent or enemy. As you all know, I am a believer in Jesus Christ and believe strongly that we are always fighting against one enemy in this world. Victory is when the true enemy is defeated – but also, each war has many small victories along the way. As a believer in Jesus and a follower of Him, we are always pursuing obedience, and each moment of obedience brings victory.

I have started this new season with the following:

• Making a work change that will bring a better work and life balance in bringing me back to my home base.
• Redecorating and redesigning my bedroom space to reflect the level of importance this space should have in my life.
• Prioritizing my time of study and prayer with the Word of God and the Lord Himself.
• Giving my husband and children the best of me and not the leftovers.
• Eating foods that fuel my body and not destroy it.
• Walking and exercising daily.
• Prioritizing my own rest and creating a space for me.
• Taking herbal supplements that create a better version of me.
• READING consistently again.
• Relationships matter. Make them a priority. People are needed in your life to keep it full and help you stay obedient.

My prayer is that each day I am focused on what matters most. Every day needs a new amount of grace. Thankfully, the Lord’s mercies are new every morning.

In conclusion, the mirror triggered the physical change to the beginning of my emotional and mental state of mind – rest. The leg is still bruised from going through the back porch deck, and Lord Willing, the deck gets repaired soon. And Maggie Smith is still a legendary actor, may she rest in peace.

Please disregard the mess of my counter tops – survival mode here, folks. OR don’t disregard and judge me – I am okay with that. OR don’t disregard and relate with me to toooooo many things taken over my peace. Either way, it’s all good and the bathroom looks totally different today.