My incredible niece, Karlie, shared this talk at a recent event that she spoke at. She is talented well beyond she realizes, and loved far beyond she will ever know. Be blessed at you read these words.

She was five years old when she got her first princess dress and watched Cinderella get her prince and she sang “Someday My Prince Will Come”.

She was twelve when she had her first real crush and played MASH to see where we would live. She wrote a letter to her husband (didn’t we all? Middle school angst is hard).

She was sixteen years old when all of her friends were having their first kisses and first dates. She was waiting expectantly for her turn. 

She was eighteen when she went off to college and thought maybe just maybe someone will be interested. She prayed for her husband. 

She was twenty when the first of her friends got married. She asked God when it would be her turn. 

She was twenty-one when she wondered if love would ever happen for her. She again asked God when it would be her turn. 

The years of 22-24 years old were the toughest years of her life, when the very man who was supposed to love her most, abandoned her. She wondered where God was and why she had to be alone. She grew weary, bitter, and was mad at God. 

She was twenty-six when she stopped running and realized that all of it was a part of a divine plan to bring her closer to the Father so He could show her how to be loved properly and to show how loved she actually is. 

My name is Karlie Abigail Schmid. Welcome to the singles chat. 

Disclaimer: I pride myself on being honest and real in every aspect of my life, so I wanted to preface this by saying that I still struggle with these truths that I’m sharing. I would not feel right saying them to you if I didn’t bend God’s ear daily praying to Him about this very subject. 

1. It is okay to be single. *sigh

And it is also okay to not feel so “okay” with being single. Most of the time, I don’t feel okay. But I feel secure in knowing that the Lord has my deepest desires of my heart on His heart so I am okay with waiting (for the most part)…. 

Being single can feel like a burden sometimes.

My friends are getting married, I’m the only one in my family not bringing someone to Christmas or on family vacay.  

I get lonely and disappointed. I feel like I’m not enough. 

I feel like it’ll never happen for me.

Of course, I’m happy for them, but I am sad for me. And that’s okay.

When I feel like I am wanting to rush God’s plan and take over I remember Solomon, in Chapter 3 verse 5, he says “do not awaken love before its time” and I am reminded of the reason I am waiting. I am waiting expectantly on Him and for Him to produce the man that He has for me. 

Which leads me to my first point, something I have learned recently: 

Your waiting season is not a wasted season. 

Isaiah 40:31 says, But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Only those who trust God’s perspective on their situations will run and not become weary as God provides a second wind to make it through challenges. Only those who believe His Word and submit to it can expect to experience his spiritual power for daily life. You will walk and not faint as God changes you, whether or not He changes your situation.

I know this because I spent a lot of time running from mine. For the last four years, my life was spent running from the Lord, running from feeling anything, and surviving. I wasn’t focused on waiting on the Lord to renew me. 

Then, one day, tired of running and tired of my own loneliness, in anger, I asked the Lord, “I have so much love to give, Lord, why not me? Why do I have to be alone?” 

To which He replied, “Then give it back to me. That’s all I want. Lean.” 

So, I did. 

He opened my eyes to see where all of that love was going, it was going to the wrong places- seeking validation where I just needed to rest in Him and allow Him to heal my broken heart. 

The Amplified Bible translation of Psalm 37:3-7 says this about leaning on Him: “ Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass. And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice and right as [the shining sun of] the noonday. Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him. 

So, during my leaning I asked Him, “show me what you want me to do, show me where I need to be.” 

So, He did. 

My life came back in color, I got my first job as a teacher, being the hands and feet of Jesus in the inner city of Chattanooga and loving on middle schoolers who wish they didn’t like me as much as they do. Who will never know how much they are truly loved by me and will always hear it as they leave the classroom.  

Married or not, I have a calling, we all have one. If you don’t know yours yet, that’s just fine. Start with the basic calling that we are all called to and that is to love as Christ loves. 

My form of love in this season happens to come in the form of poptarts to my babies who “don’t like” school breakfast or talking to them about why it’s important to wear deodorant or giving a much needed hug during instructional time… 

The Lord just wants you to be open to His love. Don’t waste this time with the Lord, of course feel all of your feelings about being single, but tell Him. He can handle them and bring comfort to you. Allow Him to teach you how to be loved. 

My next point is to: 

Seek the kingdom of God first. 

Psalm 37:3-4 Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

In Psalms 84:11 it says, “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”Those good things The Lord does not withhold “good” things from you, even if it seems like he does sometimes. That is not his nature, He might have something better planned for your heart that He has prepared you for. If we walk by faith, then whatever begins with grace will ultimately end with glory. God does not give us everything we want, but He bestows upon us all that is good for us, all that we need.

Be real about your heart and feelings. Let him show you real love. You delight in Him and He delights in you and one day, He might bring someone else along to delight in Him with you. 

But…until He blesses us with the good things, He wants us to endure faithfully. In Philippians 4:1-13, the apostle Paul shared what he learned about contentment: 

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through [f]Christ who strengthens me.” 

Contentment means being satisfied and at rest about where God has you, despite what’s happening around you. It’s not natural or automatic; it must be learned. God teaches us contentment through the ups and downs of changing circumstances. He wants us to learn to depend on him and his divine enabling no matter what.

My last point is something that was heavy on my heart when preparing for this talk- our identity in Christ. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day, worldly view of what women should be.

I leave you with this verse from Micah 7:7: “But as for me, I will look to the Lord;

    I will wait for the God of my salvation;

    my God will hear me.” 

There is that word again, wait…and here is the beauty of the wait. The Hebrew descriptive word for wait is hope. Friends, there is no one more worthy of our hope. His purposes for making us wait are meant to bring us good things – the good things that will fulfill us. His purposes are found in the submission of contentment, knowing that He is trustworthy, so much so that we can lean on Him in the waiting…and the hoping. 

Whatever you are expecting the Lord to do, if you’re like me, that is bringing a husband. Wait with expectancy on the Lord, trust that he hears you and loves you. 

Decolores. 

Who God says you are as His daughter: 

You are made in His image. (Gen. 1:27)

You are accepted. (Romans 15:7)

You are chosen. (John 15:16)

You are free. (Galatians 4:7)

You belong to Jesus. (1 Corinthians 3:23) 

You are God’s special creation. (Psalm 139:13-16)

You are precious. (Isaiah 43:4)

You are rescued. (Galatians 3:13)

You are heard. (1 John 5:14-15)

You are an heir of God. (Romans 8:17)

You are treasured by God. (Exodus 19:5)

You are complete in Christ. (Colossians 2:10)

You are clothed in strength and dignity. (Proverbs 31: 25)

You are more precious than rubies. (Proverbs 3:15)

You are His masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10)

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139: 14)

You are precious and honored in His sight and He loves you. (Isaiah 43:4)

You are seen by Me. ( Psalm 139) 

You are never alone. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

You are altogether beautiful, my love. (Songs of Solomon 4:7)